I CAN’T BELIEVE SHE DIDN’T INVITE ME TO LUNCH WE USED TO BE FRIENDS DIDN’T WE NO SURELY WE STILL ARE I SUPPOSE IT WAS JUST A COMMON CAUSE OR LIKE SHE WAS REAL GOOD FRIENDS WITH MY FRIENDS AND WE JUST KIND OF FORMED TWO DIFFERENT SPHERES OF THE SAME ATOM
OH WELL IT’S OVER NOW ISN’T IT?
THE ATOM HAS SPLIT / EVOLVED CALL IT WHAT YOU WILL.
THESE THINGS AREN’T TO BE DWELT UPON APPARENTLY THERE’S A WICKED HOUSE PARTY IN SOUTH LONDON, ALL THE KIDS WILL BE THERE THEY’RE GETTING LOADS OF BOOZE AND DRUGS THIS AFTERNOON TO BE READY AND MATT’S BRINGING HIS REAL BIG SPEAKERS, SO IT WILL BE A PROPER SOUND SYSTEM AND ALL OLD SCHOOL STYLE YEAH PROPER LADBROKE GROVE. ANYWAY YOU’RE ALL INVITED OR AT LEAST THEY WON’T MIND IF YOU TURN UP THEY PROBABLY WON’T EVEN NOTICE THEY’LL BE SO FUCKED BUT I MET THEM AT A PARTY THIS ONE TIME SO YOU CAN JUST COME WITH ME THEY’RE COOL FELLAS ONE OF THEM WRITES A BLOG. DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT TO WEAR YET? THEY ALWAYS SAID TO DRESS EXTRAVAGANTLY IN WAR TIME IS MORE THAN BAD FORM IT IS UNPATRIOTIC I THINK I’M GOING TO WEAR A PLAIN GREY T-SHIRT AND SLACKS YEAH SOME NICE SHOES AS WELL THAT’LL BE THE LOOK. THEY SURE CAN BE TRENDY DOWN IN SOUTH LONDON BUT WE’LL LOOK LIKE WE WENT TO SALFORD GRAMMAR SCHOOL YOU CAN’T BEAT THAT YOU CAN’T BEAT AUTHENTICITY. SOMETIMES I TRY TO DRESS LIKE A YOUNG BOB DYLAN AND ALL HIS HASH SMOKING COLLEGE EDUCATED FOLKNIK FRIENDS BUT OTHER TIMES ALL I WANT TO LOOK LIKE IS LEONARD COHEN IN THE 1960S A REAL POET AND EVERYTHING. IT DOESN’T REALLY MATTER WHAT YOU WEAR THOUGH AS LONG AS YOU’RE COMFORTABLE IN IT IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. IT’LL BE FUN THOUGH REAL GOOD FUN THOUGH. HOPEFULLY WE’LL BE ABLE TO CRASH DOWN THERE SOMEWHERE BUT WE COULD JUST GET A BUS BACK IN THE MORNING (IT MIGHT GO ON QUITE LATE) YEAH THE MORNING SUN’S BRIGHT ON TIRED EYES BUT THE FUNNIEST IS ALL THE SUITS ON THE BUS TRAVELING INTO WORK I CAN’T IMAGINE WHAT THEY THINK OF US BUT USUALLY I CAN’T THINK AT ALL BY THAT STAGE JUST GOTTA RIDE IT OUT TILL YOU CAN GET INTO BED, THEN THAT’S A NICE FEELING FOR SURE.
BUT WHO KNOWS MAYBE YOU MIGHT FIND SOMEONE WHO REALLY LOVES YOU????

DULL GREY DAY DON’T FORGET ME I LOVE YOU, I AM YOU, I SHOULDN’T KNOW YOU, SURELY
THIS IS A PAEN. THIS IS THE DULL GREY DAY 2010 I AM ALIVE. FIRST THING I DO IN THE MORNING IS I EAT MY CEREAL, I TAKE MY MILK FROM THE FRIDGE I GET MY SPOON AND MY BOWL AND I EAT MY CEREAL. NEXT THING I DO IS I WAIT. WAIT YOU SAY WHAT DO YOU WAIT FOR. I WAIT FOR HENRY. HENRY ALWAYS HAS HIS WICKED WAY I WAIT FOR HENRY. SOMETIMES I READ THE NEWSPAPER WHILST I WAIT, AS MANY PEOPLE DO. BUT MORE OFTEN OR NOT I GO ON THE INTERNET. EVERYTHING IS ON THE INTERNET, YOU CAN DO ANYTHING ON THE INTERNET WHY SHOULD I LEAVE I CAN ORDER A PIZZA OH MAAN COULDN’T I HAVE FUN. BUT I MUSTN’T GET TOO AHEAD OF MYSELF. NOT YET ANYWAY.
DULL GREY DAY YOU MOCK ME SO.
SOMETIMES I READ BOOKS LIKE THEY ALWAYS USED TO DO, BIG SHINY BOOKS OR SMALL PORTABLE BOOKS, GREAT SANDWICHES OF KNOWLEDGE I DON’T THINK I SHOULD EAT SO MUCH IF I WANT TO BE TRULY BOHEMIAN. MANY OF MY FRIENDS ARE THIN AND I DON’T KNOW WHY I EVEN THINK ABOUT IT I GUESS EVERYBODY DOES. ONE TIME AT HOME I HAD SPECIAL K WHEN NOBODY WAS LOOKING NOTHING TASTES AS GOOD AS BEING THIN. I LIKE PIZZA.

ONE OF THE LAST THINGS I DO AT THE END OF THE DAY IS BRUSH MY TEETH. AND I SUPPOSE IT’S ONLY RIGHT. I ALSO MOUTHWASH.

I THINK I’M CREATING A NARRATIVE, NEW FACES, NEW NAMES, NEW SOUNDS AND EVERYTHING. THIS IS THE MOST EXCITING PART. THIS IS THE BEGINNING, APPARENTLY.

NOVELTY BIKE RIDE THROUGH THE SLUMS OF SPITALFIELDS THIS IS TO BE THE LAST TRACK THIS IS TO BE THE LAST SONG THIS IS TO BE THE LAST DAY LET’S MAKE IT A GOOD ONE
HEROES SURELY THE BEST POP TRACK EVER AND WE WILL DANCE WE WILL BUT FOR NOW I’M RIDING ALONE THROUGH THE SLUMS OF SPITALFIELDS I SHALL GROW A BEARD, DEFIANT YOU SAY, TROUSER TUCKED INTO SOCKS AND WAVING HANDS AT SHOPS BUY RUBICON JUICE THIS IS THE LAST DAY LET’S MAKE IT THE BEST WHERE SHOULD I BEGIN
FIRST IS GOODBYE
WHEREVER I AM I SHALL ALWAYS HAVE TO LEAVE. DARLING IT’S BEEN TOO LONG WE WILL BE DANCING IN THE STARS WE WILL BE LOVING THE STARS BUT I’M SORRY I CAN’T STAY YOU’RE BETTER OFF WITHOUT ME, ANYWAY
I’M ILL
(AND I CAN’T BE HERE FOREVER)
REMEMBER WHEN I WAS. REMEMBER WHEN WE WERE LITERALLY DANCING IN ELYSIUM. REMEMBER WHEN WE WERE BEST FRIENDS IN MUSIC IN LIFE IN EVERYTHING, BUT AS YOU SAY I CAN’T STAY. REMEMBER WHEN WE WERE DIFFERENT, WE LAUGHED AT OTHER PEOPLE IN THE MOST HEALTHY WAY REMEMBER WHEN WE WERE FREE. REMEMBER WHEN IT WAS EASY. WELL THAT IS CHILDHOOD I SUPPOSE, AND MAYBE I WAS JUST LUCKY TO STAY THERE SO LONG.
IT’S ALL DOWNHILL FROM HERE.
LIFE IS CONTINUAL READJUSTMENT, AND AS I READJUST I LOWER MY STANDARDS I CAN’T HELP IT I DO. NOW ALL I REMEMBER IS THE CUT ON HER CHIN AS WE DID COITAL AND I’M NOT PROUD TO WRITE ABOUT IT BUT THAT’S LIFE CONTINUAL READJUSTMENT. YES I WILL MOCK MYSELF AND OTHERS WILL MOCK ME BUT THAT’S LIFE. CONTINUAL READJUSTMENT.
LAST WILL NOT BE GOODBYE.
I THINK IT SHOULD BE. GOODBYE TO ALL MY FRIENDS, GOODBYE, IF NOT TO YOUR FACES THEN TO YOUR OUTSTRETCHED HANDS AS YOU REALISE I’VE LET YOU DOWN, LIKE YOU DID TO ME AND LIKE YOU WE ALWAYS WILL.
BUT LIFE IS HAPPY
LIFE IS HEALTHY
LIFE IS FUN.